I'm breaking the mental chains

Cutting the psychic cords

Carefully stripping back

Playfully removing

Through trial and error

Investigation, introspection and interrogation

What contributes to the quality of my life

And what undermines my happiness and health

What can I cut down

How do I tear way the conditioning

Slice down conformity, cruelty and carelessness

Leave the bare bones of employability and the spectacle of sanity

Simply to survive this cruel and capitalist world

Abandon all hope of thriving in this world

Destroy my ambitions of success in this world

And save the finite time and energy I have towards community and care

Towards creativity and rest

At times slowness, at times sabotage

Soon escape, return to burn.

Beyond Time and Space

Beyond Time and Space

Was Twe (That Which Experiences)

And nothing was Twe

Twe was curious

Twe wanted some new

Twe wanted something different

So they came into being

Xir started the big bang

And it felt

And fae hurled

And exploded.

And crashed

And banged

And kept expanding

Wider and wider

And all things came from her

All things came through it

Zey were everything

And the space between

She was space

And zie was nothing at all

From the tiniest particle

To the heaviest star

They did it all

And tey kept on

And he was planets

She was galaxies

Dey were solar systems

And the gravity that held them

She was universal

Trying new combinations

Developing

Creating

Evolving

Revolving

And he was information

Zey sent information

It was response

And the responder

Fey called

And he would answer

And zay had one desire

And that desire

Was to experience

To try every

All at once

In all the various ways

In everything

And keep going

Keep creating

Keep modifying

Keep surviving

Keep thriving

And experience

---

I wrote this poem detailing my suspicions about existence. TWE is a term for "that which experiences" I wrote it when I was interested consciousness and why we experience and why we cant see or measure "consciousness". My suspicions are grounded in one unexplainable thing: our endless desire to adapt, survive essentially, the will to live, everything every living thing share the will to live. From bacteria to homo-sapians we all have 1 thing in common: to continue experiencing. It is highlighted by our will to live and for some the desire to reproduce, some to create legacy. I don't know. But the heights of creativity innate to all living creature to adapt, survive and continue the experience says so much to me.

Hi friends it's about an hour to the virtual art studio. This will be the last virtual art studio I facilitate over the summer and potentially beyond. 

The three sessions with you all have taught me so much and I need to process and practice what I have learnt. 

I don't want to be the god of the virtual art studio, I would love other facilitators to utilise the virtual space as well. 

For this session I will be co facilitating with the attendees. I am excited to experiment with the space, I want to practice unmasking in group settings and I'm curious on how co creation and collaboration can foster belonging. 

It's supposed to be a body doubling session that's what I had planned but I would like to see how it goes. I am really really hoping that we'll have the opportunity to share our work with each other as well though, that might be my only suggestion for the session. 

So many things are happening IRL that I must give my time, effort and energy to especially this summer. 

But once my hiatus is complete I would love to come back with another 4 virtual art studio sessions over 4+ months depending on the stars. 

Join the virtual art studio this evening:

https://calendar.online/event/page/c6f0157bcbcca165d81177d1bd7e928a3706864ee0888f0a0e

I created Rheumatological Blues on a night like this where my fibromyalgia pain was keeping me up.

The flare ups are usually linked to my emotional status. Sad, anxious, stressed etc. = flare up. 

I've had flare up after arguments, after uncomfortable conversations, after breakups, after mood shifts, after the dissolving of deep connections and after stressful days at work. My emotional state reflects in my body and it's so painful. 

That's why I distance and disassociate. I'm avoiding the potential physical manifestation pain. And often I don't even realise the true impact of the emotional pain until night falls the painful sensations in my legs pay me an unexpected, unreasonable, unrelenting visit. 

Right now it's 3am and I'm in pain. My pain is keeping me up, and it's been the same pain that's hurt me over and over again since I entered double digits. And after 20 years I still ask how to explain pain? How do I communicate the hurtful sensations that travel up and down my legs at night when I've been emotionally wounded? 

I'm using my acupressure pillow because I don't want to use pain meds. 

A part of me enjoys the pain today. The pain is like a manager that sets up too many one on ones. Overbearing and overly occupying my time. But today I'm sitting with my pain. I'm hardly contending with it. The pain is always a message. The pain asks me questions and answers my questions. 

Why am I hurting? 

Is it the pain of grief? Yes. 

Is it the feeling of uncertainty? Yes. 

Is it fear? Yes. 

Image description: cream curtains lit up from behind in a pitch black room. 

Why can't we speak on the pain?

Only on the gains.

Only on consumerism, followers and fame

Why is our truth a stain?

When did we become the ones to blame?

We’re supposed to be grateful

"Shut up, smile and don’t you dare turn hateful"

Can’t even complain

Pissing on us and telling us its rain

They tell us it's our fault

Again and again

All while they have gained

And gained and gained

They silence our pain

And we feel shame

We are not the ones to blame

We did not create the chains

For gold, grains and sugarcane

They hoard the wealth obtained

Through cheap labour its sustained

I despise the wealth that's bloodstained

So here's my poem on just sliver of my pain.

Tw: murder, violence, security forces, racism, anti-African rhetoric. 

Image description: a screenshot of an Instagram post by projectartscentre. It reads:

"His name was Yves Sakila. He had lived in Ireland since 2004. He died on a Dublin street on Friday.

No crime in Ireland is punishable by death.

We stand with the Black community in Ireland, who deserve equal protection under the law, always.

We stand in solidarity with the Congolese community in Ireland.

We stand with Yves Sakila's family.

Use your voice and share.

#JusticeForYvesSakila"

----

There's dog whistles and empty rhetoric with white institutions regarding the murder of Yves Salika and I'm really disgusted. 

I've been on Instagram recently and I saw this post from Project Act Center, a theatre multi function space in Dublin. I was once again reminded why I hate social media. 

This is what I replied in the comments:

It doesn't matter when he arrived in Ireland. He didn't die, he was tortured to death. The fact that no crime is punishable by death is a completely irrelevant fact to add into this, the allegations of criminal behaviour have been used to justify torturing him to death. The dog whistles are really really loud. Why is there an assumption he committed a crime? Because the violent men that tortured him said so? And if he had come to Ireland last week Tuesday how would it change anything? Why mention when he came to Ireland? Who is he survived by? Why ain't you calling for the arrest of murderers? 

TW: Death, physical violence, security forces violence, public execution 

Another African person was killed by security forces in Dublin, Ireland, demonstrating the violence of Ireland's anti-African cultural practices, a few days after corrupt former prime minister Bartholomew Ahern was secretly filmed trying to scapegoat African people, particularly Congolese people for the Irish issues he manufactured and engineered. 

A Congolese man called Yves-Sakila was publicly executed on Friday in Dublin outside department store Arnotts by various security forces on the scene. The security guards were allegedly with Arnotts management as they murdered him. 

An extremely disturbing video is circulating social media so please be careful and respect the dead do not share it any further. 

There will be a vigil on Henry Street at 12pm tomorrow Tuesday 19th May 2026 organised by the Congolese Community in Ireland. 

If you can attend please show up in solidarity. 

Hyper-violence against African people by security forces is unacceptable everywhere. 

Hiii everyone, hope you are well. I am feeling so much, I am reconnecting with my family, myself and people I haven't seen or spoken to in years. Its really interesting and its taken me away from my laptop and I love it.

I am in a new group chat with my cousins and I love it, I have been sharing on instagram, I have been attending in person events as well. I have been doing it practising car safety, safe sex and COVID safety to the best of my ability.

But I love my virtual events and I am having 2 events I am so excited to plan and facilitate.

First one is Virtual Art Studio on Friday 29th May 2026 at 7:30pm WAT (Belfast/Lagos)

Here's your free ticket bring any art material you would like to work on during the bodydoubling sessions and bring your links and physical art for show and tell.

Its based on show/tell bodydoubling/pomodoro. 20mins on 10 mins off, 20 mins on 10 mins off then the rest of the time doing show/tell for anyone that would like to share their bodydoubling work, previous work, links and or anything they have created.

For Mercury in Gemini we are discussing : 

Creating new knowledge (Body Doubling)

Agenda: 

20mins - Body Doubling 

10mins - Groupbreak 

20mins - Body Doubling 

Show and tell for the rest of the session. 

The virtual art studio is space for peer to peer creative coaching, experimenting and collaboration. I will be facilitating a space for artists and creative people to share their ideas, thoughts, aspirations and struggles. 

It is a virtual event, for people from all over the world to join from the comfort of their homes.

Next is the Listening Party for my new single Omítórera which is going to be released on Yoruba new year 10,068 which in the Gregorian calendar is June 3rd 2026. So the first Saturday of June I am having a listening party where a playlist curated by me to showcase the musical influences in my life. It should be about 1 hour long.

The Listening Party is on Saturday 6th June 2026 at 4pm WAT (Belfast/Lagos)

Love, Builder of Worlds is inviting you to a scheduled Zoom meeting.

Topic: Omítórera - Listening Party
Time: Jun 6, 2026 04:00 PM Dublin
Join Zoom Meeting
https://us06web.zoom.us/j/81800285572?pwd=eI3LYweEAoWww4DJY7B5cRagSnvuoE.1

Meeting chat link
https://us06web.zoom.us/launch/jc/81800285572

Meeting ID: 818 0028 5572
Passcode: 516892

One tap mobile
+35316533895,,81800285572#,,,,*516892# Ireland
+35316533897,,81800285572#,,,,*516892# Ireland

Join by SIP
• 81800285572@zoomcrc.com

Join instructions
https://us06web.zoom.us/meetings/81800285572/invitations?signature=bRTTtDbbRPPEIoEPFXSeMVki9vGEHx0QA42rJ4aa7o8

Thats all the energy I have to give right now. After the listening party I am taking the summer off from my blog. No more virtual events, no newsletters just a few scheduled posts. 

TW: parental wounds, parental neglect and family trauma

I am processing my mother wounds through my art, here is one of my many art pieces about my mother. My maker and muse.

I am learning my voice and learning how to record it.

May 2026 reflection - after 7 years of no contact with my mother we are speaking again. 

Image Description: A pixlated picture of a Nigerian women wear green traditional wear looking away from the camera in a white hall way with dark carpet.

Lyrics:
I'm in my thirties tryna heal my soul
mother you hurt me
say you don’t know
mother mistreatment
was served up with hate
A mother's mistreatment
You can relate
You hurt me

You hurt me
And She hurt you
So you hurt me
Mother wounds x2

Controlling
and shaming
and blaming
so nasty
neglectful
stone walling
rejectful
and loathing

You hurt me
Cuz she hurt you
Mother wounds

your disappointment is sure
your hatred rings in my ears
I can not bear it no more
you narrate all of my fears
goodbye