7 rejection, one follow-up call and one follow-up email. Looks like a return to the corporate world is on the table.
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Day 7
Woke up to a follow up email and I ended up having two calls yesterday. I feel way less fearful, my skill set and experience are still in demand. I'm nearly done with my Disability Arts grant application. I've been thinking about my business and my art. I need to launch this blog, and I think I'm going to apply for a music camp thing. I need support and help if I'm to carry on making music. And yesterday I woke up to a DM about my music that I really needed.
I need to do grocery shopping.
Night time reflections. I was feeling boosted this morning, I remembered I had business diploma and added it to my CV. I was looking up amenity kits by airlines and I was in general feeling good especially the sun is out. I also looked up labs for rent.
This evening I was working on an grant application and I finished most of it. I just need to brush up my artist CV and then I should be good to go.
Then I went on tiktok and started looking at health and wellness stores, the engagement and their pages, it was all looking a tad dry. Then I looked up Irish wellness stores and there was a lot of competition with well established brands.
That's been a bit discouraging. What will I bring to the space that's different? I guess my travel offering is unique and I have written health curator in my notes somewhere.
I don't know I don't have a clear strategy. I don't know whether it's worth pouring so much energy into. I do want to be a social enterprise that supports people with chronic illness especially if they need alternative treatments. I also would love to sell masks and purifiers. I wonder if I'm putting effort that should go towards my art into something else.
I told my sibling success scares me. Am I putting another barrier between myself and living off my art?
Do I need to be realistic or do I need to back myself?
Uncertainty fills me. I need to launch this blog and get on my zoom regarding my virtual photography exhibition.
This life is challenging.
I checked my entitlement as a self employed person and it's a worth about third of my former employment. I wonder how much rent support I'll be entitled to.
Also I got two more rejections. So I'm up to 5 rejections I believe.
I have been experimenting with logos and searching out graphic designers.
We should be getting an EU VAT number shortly and I found where I can get postcards made from hemp to showcase my landscape photography.
I'm back to work tomorrow.
I got another rejection today. Yesterday I was really planning and made a really solid plan regarding entrepreneurship.
Day 4
Yesterday I spent a good amount of time with my friends it was so lovely, I didn't really do anything associated with job hunting or the business.
I actually backed up my SD card on to my HDD which I found out yesterday is not as secure as an SSD shout-out to my computer science friends. I probably need to back the HDD to the cloud for extra security.
I also made the finishing touches on a poem I wrote so it's largely ready to be published.
Before I went to sleep last night I was watching a tiktok of a logo designer and I woke up inspired to work on a new logo for my new business but also my artist name. I got a pencil, wrote down associated nouns and got to sketching. I have a lot to learn but I'm backing myself.
I haven't got back to some of my long distance friends I will definitely try today.
And in a stunning turn of events we managed to take our grocery shop down by like 40% we sobered up real quick.
Tomorrow is a bank holiday and I'm working.
So it's day 2 since I was told by my agent that I lost my very crushty quality assurance contract with a large pharmaceutical company. My last day is 30 June and today I got my first rejection.
I'm thinking about my life, I've been given an opportunity to escape the corporate world and am I ready to back myself and leave it permanently?
I've told most people in my life. I am feeling scared, I want to apply for creative jobs and grants. Yesterday I was considering dog walking and teaching people how to swim. But I have huge expenses being disabled, my medication alone is €100+ every month and my health insurance is €200. It's expensive to have a chronic illness.
I've been able to walk more but I'm not sure I have the strength for dog walking, maybe teaching swimming and a hodge podge of creative freelance roles but I'm not sure how realistic that is.
Many disabled creatives go into entrepreneurship or sex work, as the corporate world shuts them out or discriminates against them if they do get into work.
The day I found out I was motivated by urgency, yesterday I was rethinking my life, today I'm sad and overwhelmed.