So it's day 2 since I was told by my agent that I lost my very crushty quality assurance contract with a large pharmaceutical company. My last day is 30 June and today I got my first rejection. 

I'm thinking about my life, I've been given an opportunity to escape the corporate world and am I ready to back myself and leave it permanently? 

I've told most people in my life. I am feeling scared, I want to apply for creative jobs and grants. Yesterday I was considering dog walking and teaching people how to swim. But I have huge expenses being disabled, my medication alone is €100+ every month and my health insurance is €200. It's expensive to have a chronic illness. 

I've been able to walk more but I'm not sure I have the strength for dog walking, maybe teaching swimming and a hodge podge of creative freelance roles but I'm not sure how realistic that is. 

Many disabled creatives go into entrepreneurship or sex work, as the corporate world shuts them out or discriminates against them if they do get into work. 

The day I found out I was motivated by urgency, yesterday I was rethinking my life, today I'm sad and overwhelmed.