Yesterday I had a dream that I was drinking and driving. I don't drink alcohol anymore so I was panicking and worried. I was in the dream trying to figure out if I was in reality or I was dreaming. I was in a city that felt like a London/New York mash up and that was a signal that I was dreaming. I had memories of mashing up the car and that led me to think I wasn't dreaming. It was a lot, I was so regretful and disappointed in myself because I hate drink driving. I had been persuaded/peer pressured into it and really regretted it. 

I have been contending with my actions, the impact of my actions, societal conditioning and pressure to conform so I guess my brain was figuring that out for me. 

I looked up Printful yesterday to see what they are about. They seem like a typical company there were no controversies in their wiki yet. I saw they supported queer rights in Latvia. 

I don't know. My music is on Spotify and they are stealing from artists by undervaluing the price of a stream. I'm also on YouTube and that's owned by Google. PeerTube is a decentralised video platform I could use. I could look into more decentralised platforms. Even Bandcamp has been union busting, creating is one thing but sharing your creations is a whole other thing. 

I hope I get to a place where I can put time and effort moving to decentralised platforms. 

I been writing this blog for a minute now. I'm struggling with perfectionism. I think it's that and three other things I am yet to discover. I think I am self-conscious about my contributions to global harm. I want to be considerate about harm. I am learning to balance. My journey is a spiral.