I'm really struggling with this platform already lmao. I tried to get a domain and it's been complex and long. The excitement is slowing down. What do I want? Do I have the creativity to navigate the online creative industry without forming parasocial relationships? 

If it's difficult to consume ethically under capitalism, how challenging is it to create ethically? Can you find people to support you financially without them deifying you and you deifying yourself? Is a paywall actually accessible? Am I creating a hierarchy among my supporters? 

I guess the Olólùfè Collective will hopefully always be accessible to all. 

Am I right to lock my content away? Why do I question whether or not access to my thoughts and feelings should be paywalled? I am a marginalised person on these dangerous internet streets after all. With people paying to see my content will that come with expectations that could shift my stance on certain things? My perspective is worthwhile, this space is worthwhile and yeah I don't know. When I think about other people I respect, they make their work accessible in a pay what you can, some have suggestions for higher earners but it's rare its a complete free for all. After all its labour and I definitely think workers should eat the fruits of their labour. 

I have doubts, I have fears, I have concerns. I don't believe myself above or beyond capitalist programming. 

I watched a video essay about the treatment of workers at a brand run by a fashion influencer, I also saw a food influencer and business owner talk down to her working class audience while they were organising against a mega corporation. 

These two incidents really made me think about parasocial relationships, money, power and visibility. 

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Random thing I said to my sibling this evening about Deepseek: When you use surplus for the good of the people, you undermine capitalism. 

I am opposed to AI entirely because of the effect on the environment and the energy it uses and how it steals from artists. But I am glad a Chinese company fucked some shit up and made it open source. I am very interested in the "indie internet".