"Rheumatological Blues" is a moody and heartbreaking sound that captures the frustrations of dealing with chronic pain, rheumatological illness and disability. With mesmerising drums, haunting melodies and sombre horns this single conveys the repetitive, solemn and debilitating nature of chronic illness.
Dublin based, Londoner "Love, Builder of Worlds" is extremely vulnerable about their autoimmune disorder in "Rheumatological Blues". Poet, producer and philosopher "Love, Builder of Worlds" is a trans-disciplinary artist utilising music, photography and poetry to convey their everyday reality. Unbound by mediums or genres, "Rheumatological Blues" is a stark contrast from "Scared For The Climate" their punk rock debut single about climate change.
As ever, "Love, Builder of Worlds" has created something for marginalised groups that transports you to the lived experience they are conveying through the sounds they have so carefully created. For disabled people and anyone experiencing chronic illness the artist invites listeners to patronise Olólúfè Collective, a space for marginalised people to create, collaborate and practice collectivism.
Wura: Gbemi my love, bring your book bag over, let's see what homework you have.
Gbemi: okay I'll bring it
Wura: yes I think Tuesdays Ms Adefuye gives out maths homework.
Gbemi: yes it's maths
Wura: hey you sound a little down? Do you want to talk about it before we do your homework?
Gbemi: I, I don't know
Wura: okay, hey that's okay. Would you like to lie down?
Gbemi: yes, I need to lie down.
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Wura: you're up, you slept a good while
Gbemi: yeah I'm so tired all the time
Wura: okay you're tired all the time, I didn't know that. Is it okay if you expand on that? If not that's okay as well.
Gbemi: I don't know, I feel drained. I'm drained of energy, even coming downstairs I was a bit breathless. My energy levels just are like erm what's the word. Eurgh I can't think of anything but drained and empty. Like erm pushing, I'm always pushing for more but I'm too empty. Depleted! I'm so depleted. My energy is depleted.
Wura: I'm sorry to hear that. It sounds very tiring to feel like that. And do you feel depleted most of the time? Or after certain activities?
Gbemi: all the time, even weekends I'm so drained. Wura I'm worried about myself.
Wura: sorry to hear that, what's your worry?
Gbemi: I can't do things. I'm less good at things. When I went upstairs to lie down there were tears down my face thinking about the maths homework. I couldn't understand what was happening in class. It was overwhelming.
Wura: Gbemi that is a lot to worry about no wonder you were crying, my love my heart breaks to know you've been carrying this by yourself. So maths class today can you explain what happened?
Gbemi: I tried and I asked for help a lot but it was like after it was explained to me I forgot again. And I kept forgetting, or I would understand a bit but when it was time I couldn't put it on paper. I don't know how to say but it's like my brain is too tired to work. I think I'm slow now.
Wura: whoa, whoa slow? Who said that? I've never used at word and neither do your parents what's-
Gbemi: well that's what Sarah said. Well she said Gbemi are you slow or something? I feel slow and tired and just not like before. I don't know is it bad to be slow?
Wura: okay before anything would you like a hug? You've been going through a lot?
Gbemi: yes
Wura: okay come here
Gbemi: I don't know what's up with me Wura
Wura: I understand
Gbemi: I'm worried about my brain
Wura: it sounds very worrying with the tiredness and the forgetting. But I just want to circle back to the word 'slow'. That word has been used to hurt people who are intellectually disabled. That word has been used to justify violence and medical abuse against people whose brains interpret things in an unusual way. The word 'slow' carries a lot of pain for many people. When Sarah said it how did you feel?
Gbemi: I felt bad, like there was something wrong with me
Wura: exactly, that's how the word hurts people. What do we always say? Different not?
Gbemi: defective.
Wura: exactly different not defective. The energy levels, the forgetfulness and brain drain are something to further investigate.
Gbemi: You know I felt this way ever since I came back from the December break. I could be a new year effect.
Wura: new year effect, we'll have to look into that.
Gbemi: like new year and the clocks change maybe I'm still getting used to it
Wura: that's a potential, though the clocks change in October not in the new year
Gbemi: really?
Wura: yeah really. Have you been eating anything different or new medicine?
Gbemi: no nothing like that. No medicine or food change.
Wura: okay we might not get to it tonight. I'll write a note to explain why we couldn't do the homework tonight. Will you go bath and sleep?
Gbemi: yeah I will, secondary school is not easy oh. Year 7 is far from Year 6.
Wura: you're so funny
Gbemi: it's true though. Thanks for tonight Wura I love you.
Wura: I love you too. Goodnight
Gbemi: goodnight.
Wura: wait why you scratching like that do you have a rash?
Gbemi: yes that's another thing bothering me again after the December break. Well it popped up the same time we all had that terrible flu so just before new year actually.
Wura: you all had a terrible flu at the end of December?
Gbemi: yeah we had a walk after dinner one day with my cousins and we must have caught the cold being out in the cold. It was bad, Fola threw up from the smell of the cheese. Anyways we all recovered but it was pretty bad.
Wura: oh okay love sleep well.
Wura: chat does my baby have long COVID brain fog?